Our Story

I always knew I wanted to be a mom. I didn't know when it would happen, but I couldn't wait! Finally when my husband said that he was ready for a child, I was ecstatic, and only a month after we started trying, I was pregnant. It was July 3, 2007. My due date: March 1, 2008.

I was one of those pregnant gals that wanted to do everything right during my pregnancy. I also wanted to know every little thing that was going on. I followed my weekly development calendar and read all the books. Terry and I completed 3 different classes with Evergreen Hospital and attended a few day long seminars. We thought we were as ready as we could be.

I had a wonderful pregnancy. As my doctor put it, "I was just made to carry children." I only had morning sickness for one month and I never was actually sick. I never had any pain or aches. I loved being pregnant.

The months flew by and I kept working my full time job. I planned to work until I went into labor and that was what happened.

My parents planned a wonderful fancy "last dinner before baby" night out. My aunt and uncle were also coming to celebrate with us. We went out to eat at Canlis on Queen Anne hill. Canlis is one of those restaurants where you can easily drop $200 a person. Gasp! On the big night we were seated in the middle of the restaurant, all eyes on us. First course, wonderful! Second course, perfect. My mom had mentioned that she needed to excuse herself to visit the restroom and I said that I would join her. Just as I was standing up, my water broke! I was horrified! A huge mess all over the dinning room and everyone was looking at me! I sat back down (which was probably good because my heart was beating at 200 miles per hour!) My mom brought me my coat, which I tied around my huge waist and we were off to the hospital. The only problem with that whole thing? It was only February 4, 2008, almost a month before my due date.

I was able to stop at the apartment for a quick change and to get our things before I was rushed to the hospital. When we got there, I had to wait an hour before they had a room ready for me. They told me it was a really busy night! I got into my room and they started me on petosin to help the contractions increase. I waited there for the next 20 hours with only mild contractions. Finally when they had bumped me up to the highest dose, I finally started to feel something, unfortunately, after the water has broken, you have only 24 hours to deliver the baby. So, here I am at 20 hours and just getting started. So, I had to forgo my plans for a natural birth and get an epidural. Best decision of my life. Almost immediately after I received the epidural, things were getting underway and at 3:36pm on February 5, 2008, Miller Monroe Carlin Waldher was born. He was 18 & 3/4 inces long and weighed just 5 pounds. My beautiful baby boy. I got to hold him for only a few minutes before the nurses noticed that he was not breathing well. He was immediately rushed to the Neonatal Intensive Care Until (NICU). I was left all alone.

I was able to see him that evening, but I didn't know if I wanted to. I know that sounds horrible, but I wanted to remember my prefect little baby. When I saw him I cried. He was in and incubator and hooked up to a breathing machine that was giving him air. His lungs were not developed enough to work on their own. He had a feeding tube in his nose. I couldn't see him like that. It killed me. Not only was my little baby hooked up to all these things, but they didn't have enough rooms available, so we couldn't even stay with him. That night I left the hospital with no little baby in my arms, or in my tummy. I wasn't able to breast feed him because he was too weak to latch on, so for the next few days I was up every 2 hours to pump milk and bring it into the hospital.

Over the next week, we heard a hundred different diagnosis. Some said that he would be in the NICU for months, others said weeks. We just kept hoping that he would magically become strong and start eating and gaining weight. Finally after 6 days, we were able to get our own room and start learning how to take are of a preemie. After 3 sleepless nights and days spent at the NICU, on the 9th morning a nurse came in and asked us if we were ready to take him home. We thought they were joking, but they weren't.

We brought our little person home and for the next 3 months I don't think either Terry or myself slept more than 4 hours at a time. Miller had severe acid reflux and couldn't keep any food down. He was not gaining weight and had little skinny "chicken" legs and arms. Finally in the 5th month he started to grow. He would remain very small in height and weight until his first birthday in 2009.

The next 6 months were amazing! Having a little person around was both challenging and joyful, frustrating and rewarding. Terry and I both learned to relax and not sweat the little things.

Around 13 months Miller started walking. I couldn't wait till he started talking! We hit 15 months and passed our pediatric appointment with flying colors. At 17 months we started to notice little things about Miller that were different from other toddlers his age. He acted differently to things, was not very social with kids his age and picked up strange obsessions with weird objects. I was very fearful at his 18 month check up, but he passed all the tests perfectly. The following 6 months were a roller coaster. He started banging his head when he couldn't communicate what he wanted. He became even more obsessed with certain objects and still was not talking. Everyone I talked to seemed to know someone who had a boy that didn't talk until he was 3 or 4 years old. I worried the whole last month before his second birthday. I knew I had to make that 24 month check up, but I didn't want to because I knew deep down what my doctor would tell me.

The day of his appointment finally came and on March 9, 2010 I found out my perfect little boy had autism.

This is Miller's story. Our journey through classes and therapies. Doctors and diagnosis, and everything in between.

Comments are always welcome, as are questions and suggestions. This is a learning experience for all of us.