My best friend's little brother got married last week and I was fortunate to be invited to the reception. It was so nice to see some old friends, and see my best friend, who I haven't seen in over a year. She has a little boy just 3 months older than Miller. I had a lovely time talking to him and playing a "finding game". I discovered that I have no idea how to talk to a 3-year-old. However, I still couldn't shake that sneaky, guilty-envy that I have. I want to have conversations with Miller. I want to know what he thinks about the world, his family, school. After the envy passes, I am overwhelmed with guilt. How could I think poorly of my perfect little boy?
I constantly tell people that Miller has his own way of communicating, and I guess I really didn't realize it fully myself until tonight.
I talk to Miller all the time, not because I expect an answer, but because I know he understands everything I say. He answered me tonight, but not in a verbal way. I asked him if he was ready for his nighttime milk and he just made the sign for more, and at that second it all just clicked. Like any 3-year-old would say yes verbally, Miller said yes with a sign. It may not seem like a big thing, but when you think about the fact that he understands everything we say...I wonder what the barrier looks like in his mind that blocks that communication function. Are all the processes there, just redirected to a different location? I may never have a verbal answer from Miller, but I can rest assured that he knows what's going on. That's all I can ask for right now.
